10 THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW ABOUT YOUR PASTOR

Do you appreciate your pastor? And if you do, does he know it?

My motivation for writing this is to help church members understand their pastors. The things I am going to point out are often things that pastors will NOT tell their members. Why? Because it is often difficult to predict how people will react. Some members will become angry. Some will judge. Some will wrongfully assume that it is just the pastor being selfish. However, some will be understanding. Some will take it as an opportunity to love their pastors more. It is risky to put these things out in the open. People may not respond in the way anticipated.

This is something that has been on my heart for some time. But there was a big elephant in the room that prevented me from ever following through with communicating these thoughts: My desire is to go into full-time ministry.

I was (and still am) afraid of others reading this post and saying, “Oh, Blake just wrote this because in the future he wants people to give him special treatment.” But that is not my intention. I wrote this because I have seen many examples in the past where the congregation has hurt their pastor. I have seen times when people in the congregation do not understand their pastor, and the pastor feels that he is not allowed to communicate these things. I have many friends who are in full-time ministry that have opened up to me with these very real struggles.

I didn't write this to serve myself. I studied this out as one of the church members to examine how I could support MY OWN pastor better than I currently was. 

Your pastor has been appointed as a shepherd. It is his responsibility to equip the saints and to guide the congregation in the right direction. It is your and my responsibility to make sure we are not getting in the way of progress. Even more than that, it is our responsibility to follow and support our pastors, even when we disagree with them.    

So what are some of these little-known things that your pastor would like you to know about himself?

1) He struggles with sin.

Your pastor has quite the job description. Just look it up in Titus 1:5-9 and First Timothy 3:1-7. Then add to that the expectations unique to your church. By looking at those things, it is easy to expect near perfection! But just because he is your pastor doesn’t mean that he is not human. It is amazing and scary to hear about angry members who learn that their pastor struggles with a particular sin and turn on him. Now, there are certain sins that greatly hinder the spread of the gospel and should warrant discipline, but we shouldn’t be surprised that our pastors have sin natures. To expect anything differently would be to place unreasonable and unreachable expectations on your pastor. Allow him to be open and freely share his struggles without fear of being judged.

2) He will not always practice what he preaches.

If the biblical precedent is for the pastor to preach the whole counsel of God, then there will be times where he is going to preach things that he himself is not able to keep. This goes very well with the previous point. Again, if you allow him to only preach the things that he is perfect at, then he will only be free to preach... well, he won't be free to preach. Let's flip the situation. What if the pastor expected YOU to practice everything you read or heard from Scripture? Not so easy is it? Allow him to preach even to himself and to sometimes not practice what he preaches. It is an impossible standard to keep.

3) He battles discouragement.

I once asked a pastor friend of mine, "What is the best way to deal with discouragement in ministry?" He responded, "When you find out, let me know." This is one of the most difficult temptations for pastors. Put yourself in his shoes: He is placed in this position as under shepherd by the sheep, who are saying, "Lead us in the right direction." So he prays and studies and plans and sets a vision and loves those sheep. But even though he has loved them and has invested SO MUCH in them, some go astray and never return. Some attack him. Some choose to continue to do things their own way and never change. Please don't be one of those sheep. It breaks your pastor's heart. Show your pastor that his ministry is worthwhile in your life.

4) He needs you to lift him up in your conversation... even when he is not around.

I have a personal standard to NEVER say anything negative about my pastor, and I have let him know that. If I do have a problem with something, I go directly to him... and I feel that I have the freedom to do that. Your pastor needs to trust that you are going to uplift him in your conversation, even when he is not around. Furthermore, he needs to know he is doing a good job. Often, a pastor only hears the things that people perceive as wrong. Tell him how much you have grown through his ministry. Tell him that you appreciate him. Those statements of affirmation will keep him away from the discouragement I mentioned above.

5) He cannot please everybody all the time… that includes YOU.

One of the greatest blessings about the church body can also be a curse if we don't accept it biblically. What am I talking about? DIVERSITY! I constantly find it amazing how God works to weave the perfect blend of people into the local church body, all with different backgrounds, talents, gifts, and ideas. However, that means everyone is going to be different and think differently. Therefore, it is reasonable to expect that not every idea is going to gel with every single person. And occasionally, that person may be YOU. Don't be offended. Be happy that it works for others. Again, to expect everyone to agree 100% with the pastor is to expect WAY too much. This expectation only leads to hurt feelings and stifled growth.

6) He needs rest.

We all know what burnout is. It ESPECIALLY happens to pastors. This is because one of two things happens. Some pastors are workaholics, and they feel guilty for taking a break from ministry, because there is too much to be done.  But some churches don't allow their pastor to rest. This position is exhausting on so many levels: emotionally, mentally, spiritually, creatively, relationally, etc. As a church, give him a day off (even better, 2 days off like the rest of us) each week and fully respect that day. He and his family desperately need it. Give him plenty of vacation. And when he is on vacation, allow him to REALLY go on vacation. He needs that break as a time to recharge his batteries.    

7) Often he and his family don’t have anyone to go to with their struggles.

Have you ever thought about this? When you are having personal or family problems, who can you go to for spiritual counsel? To the pastor. So who does he go to? Hmmm... good question. The church body doesn't often accept the fact that their pastor or his family needs spiritual guidance. They begin to judge him and think, "If he can't lead himself or his home through struggles, what right does he have to lead a church?" Going to a church family with personal struggles can be dangerous (although it SHOULDN'T be). Please be one of those few members that your pastor can open up to and share his struggles. Offer to help him in any way that you can, especially through prayer. Be his prayer partner. He can't bear those burdens alone. However that may take a lot of work on your part to gain his trust. He needs to trust that you will not judge, slander, or gossip.

8) He has a job, like yours and mine.

I have heard of instances where the church family mistreats their pastor because they have forgotten this fact. For some reason they think that the pastor's job is "easier" than their own, that he is called to be a servant, and that it is a "privilege" for him to serve them. Many members think they are country club members instead of members of Christ's body. They think they should be served instead of realizing they have a greater command to serve.

While your pastor undoubtedly loves his job and would do nothing else, you must remember that it is still a job, like yours and mine. There are days where he doesn't feel like coming into work. He has a family to take care of and feed. He needs benefits. He needs plenty of vacation. A good work performance merits reward. He needs a salary that is comparable to (or above) the average adult church member's salary, given his years of training and preparation for this position. Actually, Scripture calls for more:  "Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching. For the Scripture says, “You shall not muzzle an ox when it treads out the grain,” and, “The laborer deserves his wages.” (I Tim 5:17-18) Take good care of your pastor.  

Another common myth is that anyone can do this position. But it takes a clear calling and many years of preparation. In the workplace, this means much more privileges, benefits, and higher compensation. While it is a privilege to serve as pastor, we must remember that this is also a job.

9) He is not supposed to do everything.  

Maybe you've caught yourself thinking, "Why should I do this? The pastor is paid to do the work of the ministry!" Look up the role of the pastor in Scriptures. He is challenged to be the leader and the example, but his primary role is to equip the congregation for the work of the ministry. He is there to set the vision and keep the church on track to follow Christ. For every pastor and ministry, the job description and fulfillment will look different. I have visited churches where the pastor literally does everything. He does custodial, ushering, all special music, song leading, Sunday School, worship, preaching, door-to-door, visitation, etc. I don't know if it was the fault of the pastor not equipping or an unwilling congregation in these cases, but the pastor's primary goal is to equip his congregation. He should not be expected to do everything in the church, nor should he be expected to excel in every ministry within the church.

10) He needs your prayer!!!

In his letters to the church, Paul continually asked them, "Pray for us." Really, this is essential as an active church member. If Paul needed prayer, your pastor needs it too. Hopefully, I have been able to present just a few of the very real struggles each pastor goes through. He battles discouragement and burnout. He is strained in many ways. He has willingly set himself at a higher standard, and has made himself very vulnerable in the process. He can't handle everything in his own strength. Pray for him very specifically regarding each of these struggles. I guarantee you that if you are sincerely praying for your pastor, you will want to love and support him, even when times are difficult. And that knowledge that you are a dedicated and trustworthy sheep will mean the world to your pastor.

Above all the petty distractions that take place in ministry, love your pastor. Try to get to know him personally so you can put yourself in his shoes. Put aside selfishness and love him as you love yourself (Mark 12:31). Allow him the freedom to minister to the best of his ability in obedience to God's leading.